My Happily Ever After 2 - The Wedding Blog Post

  I am the type of person who would need something so badly and then when an opportunity to make it legally mine comes or when all I have to do is reach out and finally grab it, I always take a few minutes to reassure myself that I do need it and that I still want it, then I take the plunge. My marriage wasn't different. I knew I was ready to get married and I had my ticks and crosses about the guy I wanted to be with.  When my hubby, who was first my friend told me on our first date that he was interested in settling down with me, I knew I would love to be with him forever too. He ticked all my good boxes and crossed none of my bad boxes but some fears and doubts began to creep in like before.

  However, without meaning to sound like a nun, I took some time out to pray about it and the fears started to dissipate slowly and on the 30th of November, 2015, about two weeks after that first date, I said the magic word. I will never forget his words to me on that day. Hear them: "You have made me the happiest man on earth today." He is so cute and romantic. There was a bit of oddity about our engagement. Because we lived on almost opposite ends of the country, he couldn't put the ring on my finger when I said yes. The next time we saw which happened to be our introduction party was when I got the rock on my finger. Exactly two months after the informal engagement,

  On the 30th of January, exactly two months after the informal engagement, we had our introduction. He was so convinced I was the one he had been waiting for. As a matter of fact, just a month after our first date and two weeks after I accepted his proposal, we started planning our introduction. He had told his family members and pastor friends about me before I even gave him my word. I admired his guts. The introduction was grand for an introduction, with lots to eat and drink. We even had it videotaped. I must have taken more than a hundred photographs on that day. I remember my cheeks hurt from smiling into the camera too much and smiling at the guests all the time.

 After the introduction, hubby-to-be asked me out to dinner, I complained of tiredness but then he insisted. I got a hint and changed into something nice and got in the car. We went somewhere nice and sat at a quiet spot. We ordered some Chinese pasta which turned out very delectable. After dinner, he started saying some very romantic and sweet words, telling me of how he couldn't live without me even if he tried, how special I was to him. My only regret to this day is that I didn't bask in the euphoria of the moment and savour those words. I didn't remember half the things he said because I was too busy watching his every move and asking myself if this could be it. At some point, he smiled, got down on his knee and asked me to PLEASE marry him. I was smiling and laughing and almost crying at the same time. I said an unnecessary 'Yes'. Not my fault. He might just as well have slipped the ring right into my middle finger because I had already accepted his proposal over the phone, but he asked again and I responded in the affirmative again and we were both happy again. Oh my God, my ring was so beautiful! So, our formal engagement came after our introduction. I know that is a bit twisted but that is just us and we are unique and in love!

 A month and half later, we were married! The entire courtship lasted just six months during which we were also planning our wedding. We had a day between the traditional marriage rites and the wedding. I was indoors almost all through my traditional wedding just like I was during my introduction. Thank God for video recording, it is the only way I will ever get to know what really transpired on that day. While indoors, I was dressed in several traditional outfits and had pictures in all of them. Finally, the bride price was paid and I was called out. I was made to sit on hubby-to-be seven times and he was to grab me the seventh time to show we were officially married. I was changed into one last outfit after this and we came out to the full gaze of the guests, dancing and greeting everyone. I was shy at first and the suddenness with which I was whisked out of the dressing room, with only a few people and to the centre of the ceremony where I suddenly became the cynosure of all eyes felt weird and I was a bit self conscious so couldn't dance immediately. Soon, however, I warmed up to the good music and made some very graceful dance movements. I was truly happy and I did smile a lot. We cut our traditional wedding cake and took our seats in a pre-decorated tent. Money came cascading on us from guests, family members and well wishers and we could only smile in appreciation and saw occasional 'Thank yous.' Soon the guests started thinning out and we had family photographs. I remember my traditional wedding day for being the first time I ate starch (a slimy but solid Urhobo staple food) with 'owho' (oil soup thickened with starch or/and garri and containing a lot of potash) with a fork. It is almost impossible to pull that stunt and I have never heard of anyone being able to do that. My synthetic nails were pure white and any attempt to eat that meal, which is one of my favourite meals, with my fingers will ruin them so I somehow found a way round the eating without getting it on my fingers. Necessity is indeed the mother of all inventions.

  The free day between the traditional and church weddings was supposed to be a restful one on which the bride has a well-deserved beauty sleep to make her glow on her day. I wasn't lucky enough to have such luxury. I had my box packed and set to be be taken away to the hotel room with hubby right after the wedding. I believed that if you go to your maiden home after the wedding to pick up anything at all, that could mean bad luck for your marriage. Sorry if you find me too old-fashioned and superstitious. I had my hair made also on this day and we did some last minute running around. The bridal shower in the evening was colorful and lovely. My pretty bridesmaids showed up in pink polos and blue jeans. A few friends of my sister's turned up too . I have always had very few friends and they were all indisposed at the time of my bridal shower. My sister and her friend, Gloria did a good job of decorating the venue (a hotel room) with pink and blue balloons and confetti. I had a crown, a sash and a dinner wear. We had wine, snacks, food (noodles and omelette) and drinks. We had lots of photos. 

They say the most important day in a girl’s life is her wedding day. I’ll say the most important day in anyone’s life, whether male or female, is the day they get joined for life to the love of their lives. Unfortunately, for most people, including me, the day is a blur of people, movement, music and excited activity. Between 4am when I woke up (excitement robbed me of my sleep anyway) and 10am when I arrived in church, I  went from bathroom to hair and make-up. The bridesmaids were time-conscious ladies and in no time at all, they all were ready too. We had some pre-church photos at the hotel but most of them didn't turn out well as I was busy giving last minute instructions to my bridesmaids, on the phone with the driver who was on his way to pick us up for church and generally fretting that we were gonna be late and would lose the money we had deposited as a church measure to check lateness. We all had something to eat but I couldn't taste my food and only ate a little in the rush to meet up with the 10am wedding start time.We made it in time to church and my dad walked me down the aisle to be beside my hubby-to-be who was smiling at me with all the love in the world in his eyes.

 It began and here I was sitting beside my beloved hubby-in-the-making (no longer hubby-to-be as the ‘hubbilization’ process had already begun) with a little uncertainty gnawing somewhere at the back of my mind, knowing that this was it for me forever, for better or worse. Every once in a while, with Rev. Oke Odunayo’s voice in the background inching us forward and closer to the climax, I would ask myself if I was still sure about this, if I shouldn’t back out now before it was too late to run back to my safety nest and then I would take a good look at hubby-in-the-making, the sweet gentility of his cherubic face, the dimpled smile and all the encouraging nudges and assurance the one who owns my soul had given to me prior to this time, then I would nod my head in affirmation and would look forward to a lifetime of happiness with the angel of love by my side. In fact, I caught myself lost in the future, in the world of our dreams and fantasy. I also thought of the pleasurable consummation of our patient love, it was at this point I literally dragged my ‘sinful’ mind back to the on-going service at Avenue Baptist Church. Soon, it was time to take our vows and exchange rings. At this point, I couldn’t have been ‘surer’ and the strength and conviction in my voice as I read convinced even the audience. My engagement ring came off and my wedding band took its place. There was a little twist to the “you-may-kiss-your-bride” part. The officiating minister simply said, “Pastor, you are now permitted.” It was the moment we have both waited for. I simply closed my eyes and waited till I felt an ineffable sensation which made it impossible for me not to unconsciously reciprocate the movement of his lips. Cameras flashed and clicked. People cheered and clapped. We smiled shyly.

   The significant kiss

 On the way to the reception venue, we explored our new freedom for as much as decency permitted. Thanks to the driver’s eyes glued to the rear mirror. So much was happening around me at the reception and I was so wound up that I could hardly tell who was there and who wasn’t. There was just a sea of familiar faces. I am grateful for video camera which captured all the moments that I now relive and cherish. Also, it ended all so soon I could have sworn it only lasted a couple of hours if I wasn’t such a devout Christian.

The M.C made us do some silly stuff. We danced, made a toast, cut the cake, received presents and cash gifts that were thrown in the air in the usual Nigerian way, danced some more with our parents till the crowd started to thin out. Even before the last guest had left, my now hubby (no longer hubby-in-the-making) whisked me off to our hotel room to continue the wedding party, this time with just two guests - us. We are six months in a couple of days and I am posting this in honor of our inexplicable bond and unconditional love.