Bribe-Free Highways.

Lately, I took a road trip from Calabar to Warri to attend a social function. Somewhere along the way, we approached one of the numerous checkpoints on the highway. As was expected of him, the driver of the vehicle I was travelling in, slowed to a complete halt beside the first policemen (the other was a few yards ahead and was in charge of the vehicles coming from the opposite direction). After a few seconds of awkward silence during which the policeman looked at the driver expectantly and the driver returned his glance with a deliberate blank expression, the policeman broke the silence.

“Gimme our own.”

“For wetin na?” the driver responded.

In an intimidating tone, “You say wetin?”

“I carry my correct passenger naaaaaaa.”

 I noticed the driver’s tone was a little subdued. The intimidation of this corrupt officer is working, I thought. Looking all around me, I saw what the driver meant by I carry my correct passenger naaaaaaa. There were three passengers on the back seat and one person in front. He hadn’t broken any passenger capacity rules as he had the right number of passengers on board. My eyes went back to the corrupt officer, who by now was fuming with fury.

 “My friend, clear well and off your engine!” He shouted like one who was being bitten by a monstrous animal. “Check e boot, inside e car and all e particulars. Make sure you check everything well well. We go delay am today, e go know,” he said to his colleague and continued to flag down other commercial vehicles for his ‘cut’ which they obliged him because they didn’t want any trouble or delay.

  I wondered if it was just me overthinking or if I really did hear the unspoken words: make sure you find something to fault him on, no matter how clean his records are.

  The driver parked the car, turned off the engine and stepped out. The ‘colleague’ who by this time had walked up to us and stood beside the parked car demanded to see his boot and the driver let him have a look in it. Next, he asked for every possible particular that a driver was supposed to have in his possession, meticulously checking the name, photograph and expiry date on each one while the driver leaned on his closed door, crossed his legs at the ankles, folded his right hand across his chest, rested his left elbow on his folded right hand with his left thumb and index finger resting on his chin, whistling away with reckless abandon, a haughty posture which would have angered the first policeman but which the second policeman didn’t seem to notice.

  Meanwhile, the passengers grew very impatient and began to complain and hurl insults at the driver for keeping them waiting instead of simply parting with 50 or 100 naira. I was surprised because I felt the person who deserved all that insult was the annoying police officer and not the driver. One passenger, who was in the most haste of all because he had a flight to catch, even maliciously commented that if the driver knew he had no money to give (bribe) the policeman, he should have asked him for some.

  It was at this time that I mustered up enough courage to speak up and tell my fellow passengers that the driver was doing the right thing and that if nobody gave this policemen any bribes, they would stop asking after a while. To have bribe-free highways, drivers should ensure that all their documentation is in place and in order to avoid harassment from the men-in-black. On our part, passengers should be more patient with the drivers as they do the right thing because some drivers do really have all the legal documents but would still ‘tip’ these policemen for fear or arousing the anger of their ever impatient passengers and hence earning their insults. I, suddenly, found myself as a volunteer ambassador of change for Buhari. I encouraged the passengers to set out on their journeys early to make room for any delays on the way, especially when they have an appointment to meet up with. They could even leave the previous day, if possible, to be on the safe side.

  My change-begins-with-me speech coincided with the driver’s getting back in the car for the continuation of our journey. He had a clean slate and so could not be faulted. Although as we drove off, I perceived that the first policeman would be angry at his colleague for finding even the silliest reason to implicate the driver.  I was so proud of this driver who inspired this blog post and to whom I now dedicate it to. I can only hope that drivers and passengers would read and learn from this post if they ever come across it. Cheers!